geez is that a big enough guitar or WHAT?

Wa wa wa waltzing, waltzing with bears.

there must be some factory in the Ukraine and all they make is these giant, monster balalaikas

It's a bass balalaika, as played by the Red Elvises:
http://www.youtube.com/watch...

@ardgedee Nice reference. Red Elvises played at our County Fair one year. So out of place, yet such a great show.

@NickSeam

@ba niiiice.