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I never thought I'd need this, but...

I mixed up a marinade of a can of chipotle peppers and adobo, some limeade, a splash of cider vinegar, some olive oil, a clove of garlic, a small handful of cilantro, some cumin, and some chili powder. Put that through my food processor and poured it over some skinless chicken thighs, then into the fridge for the better part of a day. When the time came to cook, they went in the smoker with some apple chips.

Meanwhile, I picked a few tomatoes out of my garden, then broke the cardinal rule of working with raw poultry: I re-used the marinade. I poured off what was left into a small saucepan and brought it to a hard boil. I left it boiling for almost 30 minutes, giving any bacteria plenty of time to die and bringing the marinade down to a thick sauce consistency.

Finally, I went to work on the tortillas. That part was crazy easy: two cups of masa, a cup and a half of water, mix, then into my new tortilla press and on to a medium hot and dry cast iron pan for a minute on the first side, two minutes on the second side, and a minute or so on the first side again.

The chicken shredded nicely, the avocados were perfectly ripe, and the sauce... it was just ridiculous.

Adhering to these rules while watching "Air Jaws Apocalypse" did not end well.